Here is what little we know about this mysterious and little understood creature...

Born Solihull, Birmingham, UK Sept. 2nd 1969.

Known Habitats;

Johannesburg, South Africa
Massachusetts, USA
Telford, UK

Unconfirmed sightings;

All over the UK, Scotland & Wales,
All of the American states with the exception of Alaska & Hawaii,
Canada,
Kenya,
Several locations in Spain,
France,
The Netherlands.

Lifestyle:

This large, hairy land mammal often remains inanimate for hours on end, either sleeping or in deep meditation, apparently in an attempt to conserve calories, which it does with alarming success.  When not working to provide food for its ‘Pack’ it is often seen prodding at a computer keyboard, either sharpening its keen battle skills through various computer strategy games, or communicating with others via the Internet.  Also internationally renowned as an erudite & tasteful connoisseur of most of the worlds music, but apparently most inspired by jazz/funk and improvisational jamming.

This species has proven highly adaptable and while current reports place it largely operating in the fields of  IT & Accountancy, he has been witnessed at various times masquerading as a head waiter, top class chef, a builder/bricklayer, and has trained extensively in Psychology, Counseling, and Training & Development, making this chameleon like character highly skilled and very cunning. Treat with extreme caution.

Preferred Diet:

Mostly vegetarian, but will eat meat if cornered. It would appear that this beast particularly favors EXTREMELY spicy foods above all else. The creature apparently experiences a blissful endorphin rush after consuming the hottest Chili peppers it can forage. Known to be very proficient in the preparation of meals. Often seen eating voraciously, he is particularly feared by operators of  Chinese ‘all you can eat’ buffets!!
 

Familial relationships:

This animal keeps a small family 'pack' around himself at all times. Both he and his mate Collette work in the family business- Clewley & Co., on the whole appearing to prefer avoiding contact with humans outside the family group.  In their lair, however one will find a number of dogs, cats & birds who have been assimilated into the pack. It is not yet confirmed, but early indications are that the pair have successfully MATED and offspring are expected in May of 1999. Watch this space for late breaking details.
 

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